Paralyzed
Paralyzed
By
David Binelli © All
Rights Reserved. 2022
Is it over already? That’s weird, mind you, it is the first time I’ve had to have an operation. The surgeon said it wouldn’t take long. They use keyhole surgery to do knee ops now. There was a time when I’d have a huge scar across my knee to have a cartilage operation done. How times have changed.
I know I’ve been under anaesthetic
but I imagined I would be able to open my eyes and see something by now. Hang
on. My eyes are open. All I can see is a blank whiteness. Why does the
whiteness move with my every breath? It’s a sheet or something over my face. I
can smell something. It’s aftershave. Why can I smell aftershave?
‘Steve. Are you happy with his
readings?’
‘Yep. Good to go John.’
Steve? John? Who are these people
and where the hell am I?
‘Nurse, is the patient prepped?
‘Yes, John.’
Wait a minute. I recognize that
voice. John. He’s my surgeon. John Bethanhall. Why can I hear his voice? Why am
I awake? I should be unconscious. What the hell is going on? I’ll call out to
them. There’s no way they can operate on me when I’m awake.
Why can’t I make a sound? I’m
calling out with my mind but there’s nothing coming out of my mouth.
‘Stop. I’m awake. Stop. Help.’
‘Steve. Just a quick double-check
before I start.’
‘Yep. He’s well and truly asleep.
All his signs are A-Ok and ready to go.’
‘Stop. Stop. Heeelllp. I’m not
asleep. I’m awake.’
Oh my god. What will happen if he
cuts me with his knife? What will happen if he forces the cameras and keyhole
cutters inside my leg? Wait. I’ll shuffle about on the table that’ll make them
stop.
‘Ok guys here we go. Steve let me
know if there’s a problem.’
‘Will do’
Of course there’s a damn problem.
I’m awake. STOOOOOP.
‘Hang on a second Steve. His
heart rate is slightly elevated. Let me just check…’
Of course it’s elevated, you
idiots. I’m awake. Stop. Now.
‘Mmm...’
What do you mean, Mmm…? Help.
Look at me. Look. Finally. He’s pulled back the covering over my eyes.
‘Why are his eyes open Steve?’
‘Oh. That’s perfectly normal. A
large percentage of people have their eyes open when under anaesthetic.’
‘Funny. I’ve never noticed before
Steve.’
‘Ok, John. If you’re that worried
I’ll tape his eyelids down.’
Noooo. Steve. I hate your
aftershave. Noooo.
‘There. Is that any better John?’
Heeellp. Now, what do I do? At
least with my eyes open I had hope that they might see something in my eyes,
but with them taped shut, what the hell do I do now?
‘I won’t bother to cover his face
now his eyes are taped down. No point really John.’
‘Ok. Can I get on now?’
‘Yes of course.’
Stoooop. I’m awake. I’m awake.
For god’s sake. I’m trying to move every muscle in my body. Surely one muscle
will twitch or do something.
‘Right here we go. Again. I’ll make
the first incision here. Are you ready nurse?’
‘Yes.’
‘The pain is not as bad as I
thought it would be. It’s more like a burning sensation. If it continues like
this I’ll be Ok.
‘Pass me the camera. That’s good.
I’m about to insert the first camera…now.’
AAAAAARRRGGHHH.
‘Andrew. Andrew. It’s all over
now. Just lay there. You might feel sick so there’s a cardboard container next
to you if you feel the need to vomit. I’ll leave you to recover for a while
before I let you go to the ward.’
‘Nurse. Nurse. I…I was awake when
the operation started.’
‘Don’t be silly Andrew. The anaesthetist
makes sure that can’t happen. You were probably dreaming before the operation
because of the premed.
Was I dreaming? It certainly felt
real.
‘Andrew. How are you? It’s John,
your surgeon. Just to let you know everything went fine. You’ll be able to go
to the ward soon. Bye.’
‘Thank you.’ It must have been a
dream. More like a nightmare.
‘Hi, Andrew. How do you feel?
Hopefully you won’t feel sick because I have my own concoction that I
personally mix in the anaesthetic to stop you from feeling poorly. Bye for now.’
I have never met that guy before
now and I recognize his awful aftershave. How would I know about his aftershave
if it was a dream…or a bloody nightmare?
I was awake. I was paralyzed.
