How does the hedgehog cross the road?

 How does the Hedgehog cross the road?

 

By David Binelli ©2022 DM Binelli. All Rights Reserved                    2963 words

 

 

Horace was a young hedgehog that lived on the edge of the Oak Applewood not far from here. He had lived there all his life.

Every day was pretty much the same but he liked that. You see hedgehogs are a bit old fashioned…I don’t mean that in a bad way, just that they like things to stay the same…they don’t care much for change.

Every night he would wake as usual at sunset, have breakfast…you can still have breakfast on an evening if you are someone that sleeps during the day and comes awake at night…. and then take a slow walk across the fields, which were only about a hundred metres or so, to his favourite place….a large allotment. Just in case you don’t know what an allotment is it’s a piece of land that humans use to grow vegetables and flowers….they grow all sorts of different things from apples to water melons, asparagus to watercress.

Horace would often say to his friends “An allotment is an oasis of greenery in a sea of concrete.”….He could be very poetic when he wanted to be.

He loved the whole journey to and from the allotment. In the evening he loved walking across the fields because it gave him time to think and ponder the important things in life…like what was he going to have for lunch?....or….was he going to see his friends today?....and in the morning he loved the walk back home because he would think about all the things he’d done that night….and sometimes he was lucky enough to see the sun rising over Oak Applewood….it was beautiful…if it wasn’t cloudy.

His most favourite part of the night was the time he spent at the allotment.

He usually arrived at the allotment only a couple of hours after the sun had set, so generally, there were no humans around. This meant he had the place to himself. The first thing he would do was make a be-line for a rickety old wooden shed that was hidden away at the back of the allotment under some horse chestnut trees. For some time now there was always a small saucer of cooked meat just next to the shed’s front door. It reminded him of the food humans feed dogs with and he had never managed to work out why it was always there…this human didn’t have a dog?....maybe it was left out for him?....he ate it anyway….he liked to think of it as his breakfast.

After his hearty meal so kindly left by the human, he would stroll around the different plots admiring the flowers and vegetables that the humans were growing….having a sniff here….and a snuffle there….a hedgehog loves nothing more than a good snuffle. If you’ve ever seen a hedgehog in your garden you can bet your bottom dollar they’ve been snuffling….next time you see one just watch their nose wriggling from side to as it gathers all the wonderful smells from the soil.

At lunchtime, which, don’t forget is in the middle of the night for Horace, he would usually have a couple of large juicy slugs, a wriggly worm or two and maybe a snail all washed down with a large gulp of rainwater from his favourite puddle. That’s what he loved about the allotment….there was always plenty to eat.

After his midnight meal, he liked to have a little nap and he had a special place that he used all the time….. It was back at the rickety old wooden shed. There was a small hole on the edge of the shed by the front door that was just big enough for Horace to squeeze through. Under the shed was like being in a tunnel and if the moon was out, moonlight would shine through the rotten timbers giving just enough light for Horace to see what he was doing. He had dug a small hollow in the ground which he had lined with moss and leaves making it nice and cosy…..he loved to curl up there and have his midnight 40 winks….safe and undisturbed.

He only slept for about an hour or so, just enough time to feel nice and refreshed again. Once awake he would stretch and yawn, shake and wiggle his little body from his head to his tail and slowly make his way back outside.

He had got into a habit of always looking left and right a few times before coming out of the hole under the shed, just in case there was something nasty waiting for him …..like a dog or a fox…..there had never been one so far….but you can’t be too careful. His mum had always told him, “Horace” she would say waving her paw at him, “Horace, you can never be too careful.”

Later in the night, before heading back home, Horace liked to have a snack….he usually had slugs for lunch so he liked to have something different at this time….worms….big, wriggly, slimy, juicy worms....and he knew exactly where to find them.

In the middle of the allotment was an enormous compost heap where the humans put all their garden waste…..old vegetables, leaves, flowers….anything they didn’t want went on the massive heap...Now, when garden waste is left in a large heap like that, it starts to rot down, giving off a REALLY bad smell and if you were to put your hand into the middle of all the slimy, slippery mess….it’s warm….in fact it can get quite hot….that helps it to rot down into lovely, nutritious soil.

Anyway, Horace loved to have a rummage around in the compost heap because he could always find plenty of huge slimy, slippery, wiggly worms…..mmmm…..he loved them.

After his snack, he was all set for the journey home….a quiet little walk back through the fields to his nest in the hedgerow next to Oak Applewood.

Apart from eating maybe a snail or two and a little drink of rainwater before bed, that was Horace’s night….He had done more or less the same thing for as long as he could remember, but he didn’t mind….he liked it that way.

Every morning he would curl up into a nice tight ball and snuggle down in his nest ready to fall asleep. As he drifted off, he would start to think of all the lovely things he had done that night and maybe he would dream a beautiful dream of playing with his friends in the field, or snuffling around in the allotment….anyway, it was the end of a lovely night….get ready for tomorrow.

BANG…..THUMP…..CHUG, CHUG, CHUG, CHUG.....Horace woke with a start.

“What was that?” He said in his loudest hedgehog voice.

The sun was streaming through the holes in his nest where the twigs and moss hadn’t quite covered each other….it was daytime….hedgehogs don’t like to come out when the suns awake, they might be seen….they much prefer to come out when the moons awake and the humans are in bed.

BANG….BANG….CHUG, CHUG, CHUG….there it was again. What was it?

He rubbed his eyes with his front paws and poked his head out from his nest….the sun made his eyes blink for a second or two….he rolled out onto the ground and headed towards where the noise had come from.

He clambered up onto an old fallen tree trunk and peered into the distance…. There…. in the middle of the fields that led to the allotment were humans….dozens of them….and huge, noisy, brightly coloured machines….The humans were using the machines to make a road…as far his little hedgehog eyes could see from the edge of Oak Applewood and way off into the distance, a mess of huge piles of muddy soil, machines and humans.

How was he going to get to the allotment? What about his lovely walks in the fields? Why had the humans done this...so many questions….all Horace wanted to do was cry, but hedgehogs don’t cry…do they?

All he could do was sit on the tree stump and watch as the humans destroyed everything he loved about where he lived….what was he going to do?

After what seemed ages…it must have been quite a while because the sun was now high in the sky, Horace decided to go back to his nest….he was tired and needed to think about what to do.

When he awoke that night, the noise had stopped and the humans had all disappeared but the machines and piles of soil were still there…so it wasn’t a dream. He decided he would have to completely change what he did every night and instead of walking across the fields and going to the allotment he would try exploring the Oak Applewood…it could be a new adventure.

Off he went into the wood…in the dark….it was full of strange noises and smells he’d never smelled before….it was scary.

It didn’t take him long to find a few worms and earwigs to eat….then he’d had enough of the dark and dingy wood and headed straight back home. He spent the rest of the night in his nest thinking about his lovely allotment and how much he missed it.

As the days and nights passed slowly by, Horace was gradually getting used to spending more time in his nest and at the Oak Applewood when he needed to find something to eat. He didn’t enjoy going to the wood at all, it was nowhere near as good as the allotment…and it smelled funny.

Occasionally he would go and stand on the old tree trunk and stare at the fields. They were slowly turning from a patchwork of beautiful greens and browns into a dreary, empty strip of grey….a human road.

One evening after a particular noisy daytime that kept Horace awake, he emerged from his nest and decided to walk down to the new road. As he approached he noticed that all the big, colourful machines had gone and now there were other machines whizzing back and forth along the road not stopping and they all had lights on the front….As he stood at the roadside watching, he couldn’t hear himself think. IT WAS SO NOISY...The machines racing by were cars driving along the road….Horace would never be able to see the allotment now.

 As he turned to go back home, he saw his old friend Reggie standing only a few feet away from him…Reggie was a rabbit. They were the same age and had grown up together, playing in the fields that were now a road.

“Hi, Reggie,” said Horace delighted to see his old chum. “How come you’re out so late? I thought you’d be tucked up in bed asleep by now?”

“Hi Horace,” said Reggie sounding a bit glum “I find it really difficult to sleep with this new road the humans have built right above my head!”

“I know….it’s really noisy isn’t it.” replied Horace. “So you’re burrow is right underneath the road is it?”

“Yes,” said Reggie turning around and pointing to a clump of bushes by the side of the road, “the entrance is over there….I’ve just collected some lovely blackberries, would you like to come and see where I live…..we haven’t seen each other for ages….we could chat about old times?”

“Ok…I’d like that” said Horace with a big hedgehog smile on his face.

So off they both went with Reggie leading the way, into the burrow and down under the noisy, ear-popping road.

Once inside they got to chatting and it turns out that they both had the same problem….the road had stopped them getting across to the allotment where they loved to go….Horace during the night and Reggie during the day.

“I had only just moved here” said Reggie with his long ears flopped down nearly covering his eyes, “when the humans started to build this horrible road….before moving here I lived right next to the allotment with my family but there just wasn’t enough space for all of us, so me and some of my brothers decided to move out…..and here I am….stuck on this side of the road.”

Now Horace was a hedgehog and as we all know hedgehogs are very clever…why else would they have decided to be covered in long sharp spines instead of soft, warm fur?..... Because they knew the spines would keep them safe….it doesn’t take a smart, brainy owl to work that one out does it.

“So,” said Horace with a glint in his eye, “If you haven’t lived here long, have you explored the tunnels?”…..You see Horace had an idea what rabbits were like because he used to play with lots of rabbits when he was growing up….when they built their tunnels they didn’t just make one entrance…they usually built many ways to get in and out….there could be entrance holes all over the place....this wasn’t because they liked building entrance holes….quite the opposite. The rabbits had learned it was best to have lots of ways in and out of their burrows just in case there was a problem….maybe one of the tunnels would collapse or an intruder would get in and the rabbits would need to get out quick.

“Not really explored at all,” said Reggie pulling one long ear over his face and wiping it with both paws “I’ve not had the time with only just moving in.”

“Right then,” said Horace firmly. “We’re going to explore right now!” And off he went down one of the tunnels with Reggie hopping behind.

They searched and searched….dead-end that way…..nothing down there…..one of the tunnels just lead them right back to where they’d started...They were about to give up when Horace pointed into the dark.

“There’s only this small tunnel we haven’t been down….trouble is Reggie I don’t think you’ll fit”…..you see although Reggie was a young rabbit, he was still quite a bit larger than Horace.

“No problem” said Reggie quite relieved “I’m hungry so I’ll stay here and have a nibble on these dandelion roots I collected earlier.”

“Ok,” said Horace “I won’t be long….enjoy your roots.”

Off he wandered into the last tunnel…. It wasn’t as small as he thought…Reggie could have come anyway. As he walked along in the dark he could hear Reggie munching on the dandelion roots…..chomp, chomp, gnash, chew….it seemed to echo more in this tunnel?...I wonder why?...Not to worry….deeper and deeper Horace went….he couldn’t hear Reggie any more, it was completely quiet apart from his own footsteps…..and then…..

“What’s that….up ahead?” He said out loud….he didn’t know why… there was no-one around to hear him.

It was a light, just a pinprick but it was there. As Horace got closer, he slowed down a bit…what if there was someone…or something….in the tunnel? Slowly he approached the light….then he realised….it wasn’t a light….it was a way out….he could see daylight...well….moonlight…it was night time.

He ran as fast as his little hedgehog legs would carry him…which is quite fast if you’ve ever seen a hedgehog running...Then….WOW…he was outside…and he couldn’t believe his eyes…he was in the allotment right next to his rickety old wooden shed....FANTASTIC.

It was a beautiful, still night with a huge full moon shimmering silver in the sky….Horace looked around the allotment and felt so happy…he missed this place so much and now he had found a way to get here without having to cross that dangerous, noisy, smelly road….he had to get back and tell Reggie the amazing news.

It seemed to take no time at all before Horace could hear Reggie still chomping his way through his dandelion roots.

“Reggie…..Reggie….I’ve found a way out” Horace shouted as he ran towards him. “You won’t believe where it comes out…right on the edge of the allotment.”

Now rabbits need a lot to make them stop eating their favourite food but this was the type of news that would do it.

“WHAT?” Exclaimed Reggie dropping the last of the dandelion roots. “Are you sure Horace….you know what you’re like for daydreaming?”

“Yes, Yes,” said Horace hurriedly “The tunnel comes out right next to the rickety old wooden shed…I’ve seen it.”

“Well, what are you waiting for….show me,” said Reggie jumping up and down nearly bumping his head on the tunnel roof.

“Come on then…let’s go” cried Horace.

After Reggie had seen the exit to the allotment with his own eyes, they spent the rest of the night clearing out the tunnels. The idea was to make it nice and easy to get from the entrance to the tunnel on the Oak Applewood side, right through to the exit into the allotment…..it was now like a small road…a tunnel road.…but a road built by a hedgehog and a rabbit…not by humans.

Horace and Reggie were so proud of their new tunnel-road that they told all their friends and it wasn’t long before the tunnel was being used all the time by all sorts of animals…rabbits, hedgehogs, mice….even the odd squirrel…and let’s be honest, squirrels can be very odd.

Reggie had to block up some of his tunnels to make it nice and safe for him to sleep in and to keep out the noise of the road…..but he didn’t mind….there was now a safe way to cross the human road.

Horace was so happy…..he had found a way across the road…..things could get back to normal…well, nearly….instead of walking across the fields, he now walked along a tunnel…..but he was ok with that….at least he could visit his beloved allotment….every night….in safety.

Now…it goes to show you doesn’t it….if the humans had built a tunnel under their noisy road to start with, all this could have been avoided and it wouldn’t have been left to a hedgehog and rabbit to sort it out.

Thank goodness for Horace and Reggie.

 

The End